sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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