At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
