....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
