But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
