im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
