the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
