She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
