rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
