My liver just broke up with me...
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
