That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
