nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
