i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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