so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
