i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
