dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
