that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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