make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Randomize
