Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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