Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
