You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
