You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
