Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
