Taylor Swift is so right about you.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I can't turn off my feet"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
