I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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