I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish I could teleport
I want you more than these girls want KFC
how do flat chested girls get laid?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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