capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
