Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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