SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
