I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
