there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
