Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
