someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I believe in your delicious
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
