Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
