Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
