she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
