I bet he comes in French.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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