I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
