I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
