I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
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