garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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