I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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