I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
