If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
