plz talk dirty to me
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
