so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
