Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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