the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
