why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
