I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
