If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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